with rain... Light rain spatters against the window panes, sliding their way down the glass to the soaked earth below. It falls and falls, monotonously and silently. It is hard to believe that it is August. No trace of sun in London now, only grey clouds, and dark skies.
I went to the doctor and there is no news. He does not think, and I accentuate the word 'think' it is cancer, so I should be celebrating, but I feel devoid of all emotion, to be honest. The baby shark is still there at the back of my brain saying, 'what if....' and I don't have any replies. The doctor says I must wait for a month to see if there are any changes. I feel nothing, I want to see no one, I have spoken to no one, merely sit and stare at the screen of the television or my computer, seeing but actually deep within myself.
Not depressed though. I realise that I am resting, I am gathering my reserves for whatever may come at me in the next month or so when I start work again. I do not feel lonely, I do not feel alone. Merely recharging and flowing back into the London that I know having been on holiday, flowing like a little tributary into its mother river.
London, I am back.